A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: "Put it on my bill."